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Bugs Bunny's Alarm Clock

There really is no such thing as a free gift! Read this story and you will see exactly what I mean! There's no such thing as a free lunch - believe it not or rather there's no such thing as a free alarm clock.

A few years ago atleast five, my lovely wife bought me a Sony Playstation. Fantastic you say I wish I had a wife like that, well you can't as she's mine!

Many an hour was spent playing Nightmare Creatures, Syphon Filter, Mortal Kombat, Akuji and others. Suddenly, joy of joys my wife got into gaming. Playing all sorts of games such as Crash Bandicoot and various other platform games. A marriage made in heaven you might say, I played Beat Em Ups and she played Plaforms.

We bought a few new games and also discovered a stall on Newark Market selling good quality used ones. It was then that we discovered a shop in Newark which sold old and new games. One particular Saturday we saw an offer on a Bugs Bunny game if we bought the game next week we would get a free novelty Bugs Bunny alarm clock. My wife had played the demo, so we put our names down to buy the game.

The great day arrived and we went to collect the game. Sure enough we got a free Bugs Bunny Alarm Clock. Bugs was supposed to rise out of a plastic simulated rabbit hole, clutching a carrot and utter the phrase "It's time to rise and shine Doc!" What fun, a novelty item that you could actually use or rather set in a guest bedroom to wake them up in the wee hours.

However, this is a STAMP DEMON tale, so you know there's a twist. We set the alarm, that was okay. We pushed down Bugs no problem. We then sat and waited for the grand moment to arrive - da da! Oh dear, Bugs didn't sound like Bugs at all. Infact he sounded like Elmer Fudd with a severe case of Laryngitis!! What's worse he repeated the same phrase over and over again!

Needless to say after setting the alarm to show my cousin Phil how bad it was, Bugs was put away for another day and that should have been that. We decided to leave Newark for various reasons and packed everything up in boxes and bags to set off for a new life in Scredington, Lincs.

As you will see later the house needed considerable work, even to be viewed as habitable, so lots of items are still in boxes to this day. Therefore, as time moved on The Bugs Bunny Alarm clock was forgotten about, that was the first mistake. The second was forgetting which box he was in.

All unopened boxes were placed in the shop, which was half derelict and had no lights. Therefore, we could only remove stuff in daylight. We would move boxes about until we found what we wanted, often bumping stock in our quest for those items you need but can't find.

About this time we got a very pleasant surprise, the birth of our son Alex. We had managed to make the house comfortable and we looked forward to watching our son grow in our new home - it was then that it started!

We would go to bed and as all mums do my wife would drift into a light sleep listening out for the sounds of our baby son. However, it was not a baby that would wake her it was a wabbit! One o'clock every morning "It's time to rise and shine Doc!" At which point I would be awoken by my wife's complaints about the time, the voice and its volume.

I would have to go downstairs in winter, enter the shop search the gloom for an Elmer Bugs alarm clock! Over and over again "It's time to rise and shine Doc!" I couldn't throw boxes around as the shop is directly below the nursery. After a good few minutes searching, I would trudge upstairs. Fudd Bugs having stopped for the night, my son well you know babies!

This went on for weeks in daylight we searched no Bugs Bunny. At night I frantically sifted no alarm clock. Finally, we got accustomed to Bugs. If we were sound asleep no problem. If we weren't it was another trip downstairs. However, this tale has a happy ending.

One Saturday I was working in the shop and I found The Bugs Bunny Alarm Clock. It really was time to rise and shine for Bugs Bunny. No selling him off in years to come as a collectable on eBay! I pulled Bugs out of his hole ripped off his wires and smashed him with a hammer. Overkill - maybe, vengence is mine - definitely!! I killed the Wabbit!

Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm not a violent man, but at that point I was a Ginger on the edge! IMPORTANT NOTICE: No weal wabbits were waped, wavaged or wuined when witing this tale.