STAMP DEMON Website //// Make Me Laugh //// STAMP DEMON Tales //// Comments, Groans, Grumbles and Moans //// Site Index

The Viennetta Tale

The Viennetta Tale - A tale of greed and envy. This story is not for the faint hearted or non lovers of the Walls delight which is called Viennetta.

I'm only kidding! Do you like Walls Viennetta? I do and I haven't found many people that don't. It's basically chocolate and ice cream, simple but very effective.

When I was a student at Kingston Polytechnic (Yes, it was a while ago!), I had a friend called Robert Jones. We both had a summer job at New Malden McDonalds in 1989 and became good friends. So much so, that we would go out playing snooker, drinking and doing all of the things that students do - only Robert wasn't a student!

While I was at the end of my third year, Robert had finished A levels and was looking for a full time job. I lived in student digs, 5 Bramshaw Rise, New Malden to be precise and Robert lived with his mum and dad in New Malden.

A perfect friendship! Robert lived the student life when he stayed over at our house and I ate well when I visited his parents' house. Believe me, when you are a student in Outer London an opportunity to eat well should not be passed up! Robert's mum realising this, would even stock the freezer up for both of us when she was going away. She would even ask what I liked to eat, before she went to do the food shop!!

Enough of The Two Ronnies, here's the story. One particular weekend, we had had a good evening and had a bad case of "the munchies" so we raided the freezer. Out came the oven cook food and we had a mega blowout! Chips, kievs, nuggets and more, lots of ketchup and drink. We scoffed the lot and sat back, satisfied - well at least for a while. However, you know what it's like when you've got the munchies!

I've always had a good appetite, too good now I'm older and less energetic. When it comes to food, it's never wise to offer me a dare. I had spotted a Viennetta in the freezer and I wanted some! Robert said he was bloated, but said I could have it. I asked if he meant the lot, so he said "did I mean I would eat the lot?" Well, "yes, I will eat the lot", so he couldn't stop laughing and said "go on then!"

We couldn't stop laughing, Robert's eyes started watering because his ribs hurt (everything is funny sometimes!), nevertheless I ate the lot. Having eaten a mass of oven ready food I ate a whole Viennetta. I was then told that, the Viennetta had not been bought in for the weekend, but what the hell!

When Robert's parents returned the following Sunday, they had dinner and Robert's dad asked if there was any pudding. Robert's mum said yes there was a Viennetta in the freezer. Apparently, Robert couldn't stop laughing and when he recovered explained I had eaten it. When quizzed he said I had eaten it in one sitting - supergrass!

I thought that was it and I was going to have to replace the Sunday dessert, I was wrong. Robert's dad was envious, he said "ate the whole lot in one go, I've always wanted to do that!" Sadly, Robert's mum had never let him!

Call me a coward, but I don't think I visited the house much after that - when Robert's parents were home anyway! Nevertheless, it is the only time I think I have been congratulated for being a greedy pig!

If you have ever eaten a whole Viennetta, after a full dinner and you want to join the "I've eaten a whole Walls Viennetta Club", send in your name and I'll add you to the list:

I've Eaten A Whole Walls Viennetta Club

1. STAMP DEMON - Classic Viennetta

2. Zyra - Chocolate Orange Viennetta

If you're eating a piece of Viennetta now, why not take a look around the site. You can access most things from our Front Page. You never know, you might be able to buy another Viennetta in the Shopping Centre!