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Does my bum look big in this?

Let us get one thing perfectly clear from the start - my wife has got a big bum! She knows it and I know it, it's not a problem or a sensitive issue. We are very happily married with one child and another due at the end of the year!

Too many women have hang-ups about the size of their derriere. Men are shaking at the very thought of that almost impossible to answer question - does my bum look big in this? Some men fear that if they get their answer wrong, that woman of their dreams will terminate the relationship and walk away.

Don't panic gents help is at hand! I have the secret that will ensure you get it right and your good lady will love you even more. Here it is - KNOW YOUR WOMAN!! The only true way to answer the question is to find out if your partner has a problem with their butt and how they view it themselves. In America some women insure their backsides - for goodness sake! Is your girl happy or unhappy about the size of their posterior?

Once you have established their true feelings about their botty, then you can select the most suitable answer to their question. You may wish to use, remember or memorise some of the examples below:

Does my bum look big in this?Be Cheeky

Sensitive answers:

How could your bum possibly look big in anything, it's perfect.

Nothing could make your bum look big it's just right.

Don't be ridiculous darling, you look fantastic.

Looks good to me baby!

No, you look just fine, mighty fine.

Your ass never looks big to me sugar!

Honest answers:

Well, you have got a big bum.

It doesn't really do you any favours darling.

Yes, your bum does look big in that!Contessa

Do you want me to give you an honest answer?

It does look rather tight on your bottom.

I think you already know the answer to that question!

Cheeky answers:

Not as big as your mother's

I'm just wondering how you managed to squeeze into that in the first place!

Baby, you is a whole lotta woman!

Well, it's certainly testing the seams.

Look out JLo here she comes!

Beyonce has entered the building!

Downright rude answers:Figleaves

What scale are we using, inches or yards?

Well, you got a big fat ass.

I can't really see to answer your question, as you've blocked out the sun.

It's not the size of your butt that's the problem - how are we going to get you out of there?

Don't ask such stupid questions. With a bum your size it's bound to look big in anything!

No, not if we're comparing it to a hippopotamus with elephantitis!

Therefore, menfolk I hope that helps. Choose wisely and you should do just fine. Remember this - It's not the size of the ass, but how big an ass you make of yourself when answering the question.

Now ladies, don't think you are getting off lightly and laughing at our expense! Why do you ask us such awful questions? Often you really know the answer, but want reassurance or to hide from the truth.

If you've got it flaunt it! By that I don't mean go to work tomorrow with your bottom hanging over your skirt! Don't be afraid about the size of your asset, there are many men out there who like big bums - myself included! Remember the rap single - I Like Big Butts? Lots of men have found that it's much nicer to cuddle up to a big booty, than a boney bum!

When you want to wear skimpy lingerie then do it. Be proud of your body, in many parts of the world women are having operations to make their bums bigger. You got yours for free!

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