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Battery Page

What is a battery? Well, that really is a very interesting question and not as easy or as straight forward as you would think. Infact to a student of the english language it is yet another word to ponder over!

A battery is a piece of fried fish which has little flesh inside it and too much flour and water on it. You may say that a piece of fish has too much batter or that the batter is soggy. However, we have observed someone saying that their fish was "too battery" This obviously implies that the Fish and Chip shop were rather more generous on the batter, than the fillet of fish!

A battery is a series of cages for the mass rearing of poultry or other animals. Fortunately, this practice is not as prevalent now in the UK. People prefer free-range and the taste is much better. Having witnessed the truth of this type of hothouse production, we are glad things have moved on. Chickens with no feathers, broken wings and half a head are not a pretty site.

A battery is the home of a family of bats. This is where Mr and Mrs Bat live with their children. It also applies to a collection of batteries where the whole extended family of bats live. You might have a battery in your loft or barn. However, this is unlikely as we have just made this definition up - honest!

Battery is the inflicting of severe wounds on another person, animal or object. It would be amusing to suggest that battery is what husbands get when they say " Yes dear, actually your bum does look big in that!" However, the horrid truth is that many people and animals suffer this form of punishment on a daily basis and this is totally UNACCEPTABLE!!

The Battery is the place where Batman and Robin hatched all their plans to save Gotham City. Ahem, actually that may have been The Batcave!

A battery is a round of quick fire questions or topics inflicted upon a person. This could be in the form of an interrogation. Alternatively, it occurs in popular competitions such as Mastermind. This is where members of the public actually volunteer to crack under the pressure of a verbal volley of questions, designed to make them suffer. If they succeed they gain great kudos, if they fail they may never live it down.

A battery is a fortified structure on which artillery is mounted. This can be the deck of a ship, where the guns and missile launchers are. It could be a coastal land defence, the guns on a helicopter and so forth.

Finally, here's the science - a battery is a metal cylinder with a flat end and a pointy end which you shove in an electronic device to make it go! A source of electric current. Plural - batteries!! (That's about as scientific as we get!)

If you would like to buy some of these metal tube things that make things go. There are sites on line that offer these items at fantastically cheaper prices that the shops here are one or two that we recommend:

Budget Batteries

Printer Inks

Battery Force Ltd (affilwin)

MDS Battery (affilfu)

Is there any wonder that people who are trying to learn english have a really tough time. In future, do not laugh when a foreign visitor struggles to master your native tongue. Their english is usually far superior to your knowledge of their language. Often english people themselves use the wrong words to describe every day items and events - is your understanding of the word battery "much betterer" than it was?

On a more serious note Zyra has lots of interesting facts about the battery, due to the interplanetary memory and just plain cleverness, we are sure you will get more technical info from there, if that is what you are after!